A graphic designer intent upon defying both the spirit and the letter of Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) provisions intended to compensate him adequately was forcibly dragged from his cubicle late Friday evening.
Bellowing, “I just want to try a couple more colors on that PowerPoint,” an agitated man identified only as The CBass was pulled across a wood floor and unceremoniously tossed out the door. He was later seen peering into windows for several hours.
Asked for comment, his supervisor, who refused to share his name pending legal advice, said: “Let me be clear—we’re not United Airlines, okay. CBass was setting up a cot and a camp stove, which violates both the FLSA and building codes. I like seeing initiative in an employee but sleepovers are a bridge too far. And really, compared to the drunken copywriter, we didn’t rough him up that bad.”